appointments

Ok now I am really going batty or doo-lally as some of my English friends say.  Today I got up, had my shower and did not put on deodorant.  I was having a boob squash and of course could not use deodorant. So up I got, did all that was needed in the house and then drove leisurely down to Elizabeth to the Breast Screen clinic.  Once I was there I had to fill out a form about my boobs.  The paper contained lots of questions but no-where on the form did it ask, "Have you come on the right day"?

I thought that the lady was taking a long time to process my form plus she looked a little confused.  There I was there champing at the bit wanting to have my boobs squished to A4 size. However, it is no good going to the clinic four days before your appointment.  Unlike me the lady being of sound mind could not see any appointment for me today or even tomorrow.  I have to go back on Monday.  I have just added to my note on the fridge the correct day.  I had the time right though!

It appears to me that I thoroughly confuse most people.  Every now and then I do know what I am doing but mostly I am mistaken, confused, vague, forgetful and let's face it, down right dopey.  My friends never know if I am fully cognizant about what I am doing or not.  Whether or not I function or not is a sort of lottery. If there enough oxygen going to my brain I may be relied upon to turn up for appointments, make toast and coffee at the same time, multi-task in any way shape or form.  If the oxygen is lacking then chaos ensues.

So on Monday I will turn up again to have boob squashing done.  I have a note on the fridge plus I have told my friends to ring me and confirm that I do have the appointment.  Of course I know when I set all this in motion that I will get mad at everyone for nagging me.

Monday 2nd September, Boob Squashing Appointment.

Ooh and it is Father's Day on the 1st.  Not that I have a dad but just in case someone needs reminding.

chicken in a basket

Oh well I guess it is certain that my mental faculties are in a sharp decline.  However, why would I put a bag of chicken drumsticks into a basket containing my calendar and paid and unpaid bills?

I decided to have a bit of a tidy up as I am wont to do sometimes.  Usually this means that everything I need is thrown away or put somewhere safe.  Once gone from the basket there is no hope of me ever finding it again.

I had noticed that there was a smell in the house and put it down to the dog or cat.  I crawled around on the floor checking for sneaky dog poo.  I also changed the cat litter tray. I searched low which of course was the problem.  At some stage during my mad tidying efforts I put the bill basket high on top of the fridge so I could have space on the counter.  Next time I must remember to search low and high.

Needless to say the smell was issuing from the basket because I had thoughtfully added the bag of chicken drumsticks.  I estimate that the chicken had been in the basket from one weekend to the next.  I had to bag it up in three bags before I could dispose of it in the bin.

I am trying to understand why I put the meat in a basket instead of the fridge.  Was I thinking at all about exactly what I was doing?  I really think that I am on automatic pilot and thought does not come into the equation. Where I could once operate on several levels at the same time, I am now forced to concentrate on just one thing.  Therefore, I should have put the chicken in the freezer and the basket on the fridge.

I think that this is commensurate with my putting the tea towel on top of the toaster while I was making toast. I absolutely need to say to myself, "One thing at a time, one thing at a time, one thing, one thing, one..........one...................".

Stage fright and Goers Gals

After appearing on Peter Goers show as one of Goers Gals I have realized that I have a great head for radio. I spend two weeks feeling sick because I am going on air and then on the day practically vomiting with nerves.  Peter rings up to give the topics about 5 o'clock.  That way I have about an hour to work out what I am going to say.

A swift tot of alcohol would do me the world of good but not just before driving.  It would be my luck to get pulled over for a random breath test.  I drive circumspectly and arrive at the exact moment I am supposed to.

Once again the thorn between two roses I added little.  Lady Neil sat on my left and the first woman ordained in the Church of England on the other.  I added little to the discussion.  I was incredibly shy, but on the way home I thought of excellent answers to Peter's questions.

I would love to be the smart, funny and amazingly talented person.  I would love to give the best and most well thought out answers but my best work appears to be in hindsight. If I could be interviews in my car on the way home.  Yep that's it.  In the car.  Mmmmm.

   

What the.........?

Nine News announced tonight that the new wetlands at Oaklands Park are not finished because of rain.  I say again "What the................?"

National Nine News first for comedy.