Birthday

I will be sixty-eight years old in another hour and a quarter.  Amazingly this does not fill me with joy.

I should be doing a little happy dance because I am healthy and my mind appears to be working as it always has done.  I am perhaps, more than a little vague but this not not changed markedly since adolescence.

I don't want to leave the Child of my Loins and Henny the puppy plus old grumpy Gracie Cat. I want to continue to follow our own Days of Our Lives in miniature.  I want to know what happens next..............I really want to know what happens next.

So at one minute past midnight I will be sixty-eight but not well pleased.







 

The Little Girl and the Old People

Once upon a time there was a little girl.  This girl was the only young person all around.  All the other people were really old.  Her Mum was old, her Mum's friends were old.  The teachers at school were old.  On the bus everyone but the little girl was old.  At the beach, all the ladies with fat tummies and wrinkly bathers were old.  There were old gardeners, old shop assistants and old engine drivers, even the doctors and nurses were old.

What was she to do in her world of old old people?  She did the only thing she could do.........she grew up.

Once upon a time was an old old lady.  Everyone around her was so young.  The doctors were young and so were the nurses.  The shop assistants were young and so were the bus and taxi drivers.  School teachers looked as if they should still be at school.  All her friends were younger than she was.  Everyone was young. The old old lady did not care that everyone was young because she knew in her heart she was just a little girl with a wrinkly exterior.

So the old old lady with the twinkly eyes did not care if she looked old or young.  The old old lady knew that she still had her imagination, her memories and something to look forward to.  She wondered just what would happen tomorrow, what she could learn tomorrow, who she would meet tomorrow.  The old old lady was happy.

Once upon a time there was an old lady...................................who died.

Patience

My vacuum cleaner and I have a hate hate relationship.  We have been partners for over twenty years and for the most part our relationship has not been amicable.

Damien Spawn of the Devil plays dirty, he hooks himself around door frames, furniture, my legs. He deliberately twists up his hose and rids himself of his wand  He sucks up small objects so his vac doesn't vac. To be fair, I have had so many tantrums with Damien that he bears the scars.  He is broken and battered, has great chunks missing and his wand cracked in half.  Said wand is tastefully repaired with masking tape and is extremely fragile.  I have been known to pick Damien up by his hose and shake him. shouting "Let that be a lesson to you."

I find Damien's head the most annoying.  It sucks up the curtains, stray bits of wool and string and falls off regularly.  It is the most important part of Damien and costs the most to replace.  I have replaced his head at least four or five times since we became unhappy partners.  I think we are so incompatible that we should have been divorced years ago.

Because Damien is so difficult to get along with I have gone behind his back and bought a lovely light vacuum that is also a dust buster.  No more will I wait until the carpet starts to grow fungus or even disappear under coats of dust, cat fur, dog fur and etc. before I am forced to take my mortal enemy out of the cupboard.   My lovely new vac does not grab onto stray bits of furniture, nor does it clog, wind, hook, any or all of the above.

My new vac is so lovely that I have decided to call her Patience.  I predict Patience and I will have a wonderful and loving relationship.  I don't want to be precipitous in my evaluation so will wait for a week or so before I make up my mind.   However, I believe Patience and I will become the best of friends.  If we continue as we have commenced I will leave feedback for readers (should I have any) in case they might want to purchase their own Patience.

Ps. Would that patience be purchased in a store.