How fat is that?

I have always thought I was fat, clearly I was mistaken.   My doctor has hinted that I just could be fat, huge, obese and enormous.  Clearly he is delusional.   I have all my mirrors are covered because it is good feng shui, therefore I can see by my head in the bathroom mirror that I must be quite slim.  Sometimes however, I do have to check to see if it is possible that my top covers up the a saggy baggy elephant tummy or a spare tyre; I am actually going for tractor tyre when I say this.  My mirror in the wardrobe is obviously broken and shows me a huge lump of a person.  So where anorexic people see themselves as fat, I see myself as slim.  Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the slimmest person of all?  I am, I am!   It is well known that shop windows magnify, they, like my wardrobe mirror are defective.  I have dainty feet and hands, lovely slim wrists and I have a neck and chin plus nice perky bosoms.  Why should I look any further?