Judgemental people

I am watching the news and have just noticed the sports reporter has the largest head.  His body is quite slim and compact but the head, oh my goodness it is absolutely huge.  As Mum used to say, maybe he was behind the door when heads and bodies were matched up.

It is a sad thing that people make judgements on the outer shell of a person's body.  It seems quite normal to pick on someone's weight or their hair or makeup.  I have a large nose and was tortured for years by the kids at school.  Now that I am an adult, albeit an extremely mature adult, I felt that I was over the whole big nose thing but someone pointed out to me recently that my nose was enormous.  I have now reverted to covering up my nose as much as possible.  Yes I already know that noses like ear lobes continue to grow as we age.  You can imagine that if my nose was big when I was at school just how large it is now.  I am frankly frightened that I might inhale a small child through my huge nostrils.  My nostrils are what stopped me from learning how to waterski.  Every time I nearly got up on the skis the water rushed up my nose and started to drown me so I had to let go the rope.

I am a 'fatist,' that is like racist but about picking on those people I perceive as being great fat obese, enormous and gigantic people.  I can say I am a 'fatist' because I am fat and therefore I am able to pick at other fat people.  I am especially pleased when I can say that someone has a bum that looks like two cats fighting under their skirt.  If the person has a particularly large bottom I call it two dogs fighting. It is a code that my daughter and I use.  We just whisper to each other, 'two dogs' and point. The largest bum I ever saw was 'two elephants' and I am still wondering how the person managed to walk at all.  Luckily I do not have a huge bum, however, my stomach is grossly large.  I have taken to trawling through the preggie clothes at K-mart for something to disguise my tummy.

Shallow me also picks on hair styles, tight clothes, muffin tops, camel toes, frayed jeans and track pants, all kinds of piercings, oh and those awful things that boys have in their ear lobes, plus tattoos.  I am sure I have many more little snippy things that I can pick on but that will do for the moment.

When it comes to judgemental people I am quite possibly the Queen. Were I thin and pretty and had a nice little nose I might have a reason to be picky.  I am none of these things.  What I am is an old grumpy woman with too much time on her hands whose only joy in life is to make fun of people who are no funnier than me.  So take it from me if you look like Jabba the Hutt like I do you shouldn't criticise others.