Dotty lady syndrome

Although I have been told that when I get flustered I start to lose it, I have never really paid any attention.  That is of course since last night.  One thing that stresses me above all else is maths.  One of my friends came over to help me do some long winded awful project and I went in to loopy land.  I made a cake for her but it turned out to be quite dry.  This could be because I forgot to make up the icing.  I managed to top myself with the coleslaw.  When I opened the bag with the coleslaw the bag of dressing fell out.  I of course did not get the hint to use it on the coleslaw but just put it to one side.  That meant that the lovely big baked potato was served with beetroot, bacon, cheese and sour cream and of course coleslaw without dressing.  Dry, dry, dry.

 I am turning into one of my elderly neighbours.  She was a lovely lady but she did the most amazing things.  She often lost her purse but we usually found it somewhere in her unit.  Her daughter often found things like blocks of cheese out on the back lawn.  She also threw her new groceries out in the rubbish bin when they had just come from the shop.  The dear thing did not like putting on cold knickers so she used to warm them up in the microwave.  The reason I know this is because there was a large sign on her the microwave saying, "Don't put you knickers in here."  What happens when you put your knickers in the microwave?  Knickers tend to catch on fire.

My worst Agnes moment was when I was watering my lawn and looked over to her place where she had left the side gate open and noticed her hanging half out the laundry door.  She was trying to hook something off the clothes line and I thought to myself, she wasn't wearing that this morning.  Not only was she not wearing it but it also needed ironing.  A split second later I realized she was naked.  I have never moved so fast and positively flew inside.  I had the most horrible thought that she might come over to talk to me, however, she must have come to her senses and the next time I looked the side gate was closed.  I really hope she didn't see me.

Another Nanna moment was when my friend's Gran put her bra in the fridge and home made chocolate under the grill.  My friend had the most entertaining stories of exactly what Gran had done.   These stories sound amusing but when you get to my age they become frightening.  If I am getting slightly ditzy now, then how am I going to be in another few years?  I don't want to be walking around naked or boiling things dry, setting fire to my unit or flooding it.  I don't want that but I guess it is the luck of the draw.  Maybe my friends and the fruit of my loins will be regaling their friends with dotty Cushie stories.   Funny for them but so very very sad for me.