I seem to be in a state of melancholia at the moment. My rosy picture of myself that I have created over many years is rent asunder. If only I could turn back the years, if only I could take back one hundreth of my stupidity and mistakes; yes that is it, if only! I have sailed along year after year enclosed in a wall of supreme ignorance bolstered with hubris. If only, I had not said this, or done that. If only I had made better choices or had been more aware of how things worked. Well in the end, what if I had not been me? Even now, when I am not so ignorant, not so temperamental, in fact now that I am mellow I would give anything to re-tread the paths that I have taken and perhaps not make the same stupid un-informed decisions that have made throughout my life.
Regret does not cure mistakes, it does not stop memories. However, perhaps it teaches us, no matter how late, the best way to live life. It might prevent future mistakes and let one live in the now. What is done is done, and that one should live each new day as a new beginning and that nightmares of long ago should cease to wound us.
"The moving finger writes
And having writ moves on
Nor all thy piety nor wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line
Nor all thy tears
Wash out a word of it."
Omar Khayyam
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