Massage

Yesterday I went and had the best Chinese massage ever.  The man found pain in places that had never had pain before.  I didn't even think I had those places to start with.  When he really wanted me to suffer he used his elbows to dig right down to the bed-rock.  After a while I had cripple nipple and had to move a bit to get the pressure off the bosoms.  I once had a hot stone massage in Vietnam and my nipple was squashed so I kept trying to release it but all the hot rocks started sliding off and the girl didn't want me to move.  My advice is to always check your nipples before you lie down to have an hours massage.  It is imperative!

I often wonder what the masseurs are saying to each other while they are massaging.  I wonder if they are commenting on rolls of fat or saggy boobs.  It is quite possible that they are only talking about what they are having for tea but one never knows.  In my case I think they could well be saying, "I don't know how she is lying flat with that huge stomach in the way."

I was so relaxed during my massage that I could have dropped off to sleep but for the pain.  Just when I thought I was ready to drop off and have a snore session the man found a new and wondrously painful part of my anatomy to attack.  When I thought he had finished he sat me on a chair and then massaged my neck.  He also moved my head from side to side.  I felt like a ventriloquist's dummy.  I do tend to stiffen up when someone is revolving my head around a 360 degree turn.  Well maybe that is an exaggeration.  Still I felt really good afterwards.  I think it is the case of the banging your head against a wall, it always feels better when you stop.

Being a poor old pensioner I cannot always afford a massage but I really think that they do me the world of good.  I believe that I won't completely seize up if I can have a massage every couple of months.  It is really a matter of going without.  I could go without food, that wouldn't kill me.  I think that I am being pro-active and keeping old person's frozen joints away.  I will be able to get down and boogie for years to come.

So remember, always make sure your boobs are comfortable before the massage starts.  Don't worry if they are talking to each other and you don't understand what they say.  It is probably a blessing that you don't.  Keep having a massage as often as you can accumulate the money.  If you really enjoy pain a massage is the thing for you.  Masochists of the world unite!