Politics of bird poo

Does anyone ever ponder about falling bird poo?  As we know birds poo.  We also know that there a literally thousands of birds flying overhead, ipso facto there should equally be tons of poo falling from the sky.  However, most people go their whole lives without being bird splattered.   Of course beaches are the prime example of lots of birds swooping and pooing.  Yet the only person I know that wore a seagull poo was my pretend Aunty Dossie.  It pooed on her head and said poo ran down her face.  Everyone said that it was lucky to score a bird poo but I think they only said it to make her happy.  Personally I think it is 'crappy' to be pooed on.  Of course seagulls are much too canny to poo on you if you are feeding them chips.  I guess they clench their little bird bottoms and hold on until they finish eating and then find  new targets.  Obviously seagulls are lousy marksbirds.

Now magpies and crows are definitely the biggest pooers.  One only has to park under a gumtree for an hour or so and on return the windscreen is covered in big sloppy white poo.  Everywhere birds fly they besmirch surfaces with the results of their intestinal detritus.  My fences and gates are daubed with their poo and my washing often needs washing again.  So if the birds can poo on any surface why is it that they do not take advantage of all the silly people walking around bare headed?  It is an absolute mystery!  Perhaps our heads are a too small a target or we move too quickly for the poo to land on us.  Perhaps we have an internal warning system that cries out, "Falling bird poo; watch out!"  Perhaps in the case of seagulls they do not want to poo on the hand that feeds them.  I really don't know; it is a mystery.

I have decided to ponder bird poo as I really have nothing else to ponder.  I do not pretend to understand the world so perhaps bird poo is not the most important thing to think about in this day and age, however, at the moment it is what interests me.  Let's face it I am pre-senile and any thinking is good thinking.  So bird poo it is.