There has to be a reason for most things. The trouble is that some requests or orders are not immediately clear to me I tend to disobey or ignore them. My dearly un-beloved Mother was a great one to order me or tell me what to do or what not to do. I always asked her why and was always told it was because she said so. That my friends used to irritate me beyond belief.
I was desperate to go the dancing lessons with some of my friends from school but that was immediately vetoed. I begged and pleaded but even though each class only cost a penny it was a definite, "No because I said so". All these years later I realize it was probably because she knew that there would be costumes to pay for at the end of the year. If she had told me that I would have immediately understood and stopped my histrionics. I knew she couldn't afford things but I thought that a penny was not too much to learn all about dancing. Actually after all these years the thing that I wanted to learn was calisthenics.
In grade 7 we had a big concert at the end of the year and I was picked to be the compere. Naturally Mother dear said no, no, a million times no. I begged and pleaded and cried all to no avail. My dear teacher Miss Simons was disappointed but not half as much as I was. I guess now that Mum did not want to have to walk to the school in the dark and back again. I also think she was expecting me to stuff it up and embarrass her. Why couldn't the stupid woman explain herself. I am fine if there is an explanation.
Miss Simons also wanted to teach me to play the violin. Again the no! I am not quite sure of Mum's reasoning. Probably she thought that it would cost money or that she would have to buy me a violin. I really don't know. Hence I am not the slightest bit musical and not first violin in an orchestra.
I wanted to learn to swim but amazingly she said no to that as well. Maybe it cost to learn I really don't know. I still cannot swim well but I absolutely love the water. She couldn't stop me from that. After seeing Jaws I have been a little fearful of the water. Let's face it I probably haven't really been in deeper water since that miserable flick.
By the time I was in high school I had pretty much stopped asking or telling her things. The school put on a concert but I didn't ask Mum. I just got on with everything by myself and managed to make a good fist of singing and prancing around. We also did some Shakespearean stuff and I just loved it. If I had asked Mum if I could do it I would have missed out again. One year the year 10 girls did a cabaret show with the first years. It was excellent and a great success. It was the first time I had ever had to audition. I still remember the words of some of the songs. I was on top of the world when I was chosen and of course chose not to share the news with Mum. I think Mrs. S. the lady across the road took me as I remember her being there.
At speech night in Year 11 the theme was other lands. My role was to be a fortune teller reading one of the first years fortune and describing all the places she would visit when she grew up. I guess the premise was that one could do anything or go anywhere we wanted with a good education. We had a lot of trouble at rehearsal because I couldn't make myself heard throughout the Waterside Worker's Hall. When I got home I was miserable and Mum kept saying I didn't have to go. Well how was she to know I just had to be there. The problem of not being heard was fixed by me reaching back for the microphone when I had to talk and then handing the huge thing back to the teacher behind the curtain in between. The reason being that the microphone was hooked up to a tape recorder with the dance music on it. Amazingly, Mrs. S. got Mum to go to the speech night because I was getting a book prize. Mum didn't even know it was me performing on stage. Admittedly I had long dangling earrings and a brightly coloured shawl so it wasn't immediately apparent that it was me. Also I was doing a damn fine job so she wouldn't have expected that. Mrs. S. said to Mum, "Joan's good isn't she?" I imagine Mum must have nearly swallowed her false teeth. I also introduced something for one of the other classes and I think that this time Mum would have picked me out. I still have my book prize and am just as proud of it today as I was back then.
After all the years of Mum telling me what to do I question everything. I still hate to be told anything without a reason. I want to know why you can only take 8 pain killers in a day. I need a reason to stop eating something or maybe to eat something. Why is it that use by dates are rigidly adhered to by people like the Child of my Loins. I want to know why. Is the use by date a suggestion? If I eat something out of date will I get sick or die? When a doctor tells me something I want it completely spelled out. Why can't I eat salty food, sweet food, chocolates, ice-cream and so on and so forth. Why do I have to be three feet taller for my weight. Why, why, why??? I remember some guest lecturer at Uni came in and told us to take everything with a grain of salt. To illustrate his point he kept giving us a jelly bean every time he told us something. Now there is a man who wants everyone to ask why. A man after my own heart.
If you want me to do anything you had better have a jolly good reason. I want a logical explanation for everything. If there is a good reason I am quite happy to acquiesce. I never ever want to hear, "Because I said so." That my friends is that!
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