The Christmas Tree

The Christmas Tree.               

I have never been a great fan of the after Christmas sales, however, the Child of my Loins and I decided that we wanted a really nice tree.  We arose early and went to dear old John Martins.  The Child is much more aggressive than I and so made her way to the front of the crowd and as the doors went up she ducked under them and sprinted up the escalator.  She grabbed a marvellous tree and had to hang on to it for dear life as people tried to snatch it. 

When I arrived at the tree site I was happy to see that she had latched on to the best tree ever.  We found that was in two pieces and so took one part each and tried to make our way to the cash register.  Unfortunately the branches just hooked in to the main truck and started falling off.  We managed to get most of the tree to the line for the cash register and then the Child literally dived into the crowd to collect the errant branches.  It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. 

The line for the register was interminable.  It took an hour to get served and then told that there were no more boxes.  That was no trouble to us or so we thought.  We made our way to the back of Johnnies to the public phones and rang the Grumpy Man.  Needles to say he was less than impressed that we bothered him when he thought we should make our way home under our own steam.  This did not bode well for the tree.  We waited on the back steps on North Terrace and watched for Mr. Joyful to get there. 

When we saw him coming we raced down to the car and started flinging parts of the tree into the boot.  The rest we shoved into the back seat without really leaving room for me.  I was pricked and poked by the branches but could not complain.  I didn’t want to annoy him any more than we already had.  I tried to make soothing noises and the Child in the front seat happily chatted to him but he was deep in the ‘Why Does This Always Happen to Me State.’

Needless to say later in the day he cheered up and started to believe that his was the idea to buy the tree.  In fact, it was like he had actually invented the Christmas tree all on his own.  The dear Crabby Creature even helped to decorate the tree once we had put it all together. 

I have never gone to the beginning of Christmas sales since then.  I am not capable of pushing and shoving or getting pushed and shoved.  If it had been left up to me that day I would have picked the oldest rattiest tree in the shop.  Hooray for the Child who has guts and gumption. Onya Child.

This tree saga is my greatest adventure in Christmas shopping.  It was a lot funnier on the day than it appears to be in my story.  I can still see the Child diving between people’s legs and coming up for air with a tree branch in her hand.  She is totally amazing.