Pooing at Someone Else's House

I don’t know about you, but I really prefer to poo in the privacy of my own home.  Still there are the times you are caught short, and as you all know, when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.  One day, while at my friend’s, as I sat chatting on the lounge, clenching my sphincter muscle desperately.  I was in extremis.  Leaping up, I raced to the loo as quickly as one can while contracting that one anal muscle.  Almost tearing off my knickers I fired into the toilet bowl.  Thank God I made it.  Any closer than that, well I hate to think about it. Doing the usual reconnaissance I thought I recognized a Picasso on the back of the bowl.  That could be worth money I thought at the time.  Unfortunately, I had to flush.  The toilet was a miasma of rotten egg gas and potpourri.  There was one gigantic problem however, no air freshener.  What to do? What to do? Shut the door, thus trapping the noxious gases, or fan the door back and forth, helping the toilet somewhat but spreading fumes throughout the house.  Luckily, as I washed my hands in the bathroom I noticed some perfume on the shelf. Sneaking back into the toilet, I made good use of the scent and replaced it whence it came.  You would do well to only keep cheap perfume in the bathroom.  Chanel No. 5, Joy by Jean Patou or good old Tweed, I do not care, if I need air freshener, I will use anything.  Hint.  Please provide air freshener for guests.  You never know what they will produce in your pristine toilet.