Shy poo

Shy poo is so annoying it could also be called vanishing poo.  It does not seem to understand that I am the owner of my poo until I flush it away.  I am the pooer and not the pooee.  The pooer is the boss of the poo.  I went to all the trouble of passing it along my incredibly long intestines and I want to look.  I just want to look, not touch, absolutely not smell.  So poo how about you play fair, stay a while, relax and stop to be admired.  I am so sick of shy poo.  As you no doubt know by this stage I like to inspect the products of my sojourns on the toilet.  I sit and **** and then sit some more.  Is it so hard for the poo to stay around for a few minutes so I can ascertain its dimensions.  Oh no not shy poo, it doesn’t care that you spent time sitting in a little room grunting and groaning, no it sinks down and out of sight around the S bend.  I mean to say what if you grunted and groaned having a baby and then have it hide somewhere to laugh at you, I believe you would be pretty cheesed off.  I was going to say crapped off but I am much too well bred for that. 

So we are back to the shy poo.  Why does it disappear?  I realize it is trying to mess with my mind.  I know there was a poo.  I also know its approximate size, but how can I prove it.  Listen poo, I need to see you.  It makes my day to report to no-one in particular I produced an enormous poo, but no. I would like to document all my poos but these shy poos put me at a disadvantage.  You cannot prove the size of your poo when every skerrick has loped around the S bend and is half way to China or the sewerage works.  If I am not too shy to talk about poo then poo can bloody well stay where it supposed to and remain until I have admired my efforts and perhaps photographed its enormous proportions.

This came to mind today after my travails in the smallest room in the house.   Let's face it we all spend an inordinate amount of time in this room and thus this is a common experienced to all.