When I am a centenarian and am asked to what I attribute my long life, I am going to say things that I hope will shock the reporter. None of this namby pamby, “I have never smoked, always got plenty of sleep, never had a drink, have never sworn and gone out with bad men. Bugger that, sex, drugs-prescribed, and rock and roll. So will perving on cute guys, remember I am old not blind. I will recommend being well lubricated for as many years as possible before turning into a wowser. I will have mottoes. Never buy a sleeping cat and always wear comfortable shoes, not necessarily in that order. Always have someone to care for; cats and dogs are often infinitely superior to husbands. I should know. If married, never wash hubby’s dirty handkerchiefs and underwear. Never clean a stove or defrost a fridge. Why have a dog and bark yourself. Don’t let anyone else, (husbands), tell you what to do.
Finally, laugh every day because,
Life is a long involved joke
You listen politely
Laugh in the right places
But you already know the punch-line.
by Cushie.
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