Helpful hints about using a photocopier

Ok you have never used a photocopier so here a few hints.  Do not try to put the piece of paper to be copied into a top slot.  Address the machine, lift the lid, there is an actual handle to do this.  Put the piece of paper inside the copier. Line the paper with along the lines on the glass top.  Press the buttons for get the size of paper you need, how many copies you want and then press anything that vaguely looks green.  Above all, if there is a sign on the wall that says Photocopies 10 cents you should look for a coin slot.  Put the money into the coin slot and then and only then will the machine print your copy. You will know if the machine is working because you will see a bright light moving under the cover.  Do not open the lid the in the midst of photocopying.  It is bad for your eyes.  If you are in a public library your library card is used to pay for the copies after you prepay at the desk.  It is not scary to use a photocopier so ask someone in the library (if that is where you are copying) there is always a librarian to help.  Do not ask me to help because I am far too busy watching you make a complete idiot of yourself.  I do like it when someone looks a little more confused and stupid than I do.  There are not a lot of technical things that I can do so it really gives me a buzz when I actually know something.  Remember there is always someone more stupid than you.  Today is my day to be a know-it-all.  Yay for me.