Never Ever Buy A Sleeping Cat

One of my life mottoes is; 'Never buy a sleeping cat'.  Remy is the sole reason for this life lesson.  She was black, fluffy and tiny in the little cage at Pets Paradise.  The most important point however, she was asleep.  When she woke up at home, I found out she was almost feral.  Imagine, you can buy a schizophrenic cat from the local pet shop, you don't every have to go to Cat Glenside.  She had rules; she would sit next to you and allow you three pats: on the fourth pat she sank her teeth and claws into your hand.  It paid not to lose track in her case. The safest thing was not to pat, stroke or talk, or even move so much as a finger.   Sometimes, she would even sit on my lap.  Remy's rules: when sitting on said lap, the sittee should remain completely still, and not even try to breathe  Failure to follow those rules will lead to retribution, so you don't even want to go down that track.  Lesson learned!  So folks, never, I mean NEVER buy a sleeping cat.