Miracle

Now for those of you who know me I want you to sit down.  Now wait for it.  Today I vacuumed.  I got out Damien Spawn of the Devil and actually put him together and I vacuumed the whole house.  Of course I am not a good vacuumer.  I do not move the furniture; hah perish the thought!   However, I did plug the viscious thing in and applied it to the carpet and lino.  Who wants to sweep when Damien is being used. Of course he did his usual hooking on to doorways, tried to trip me up, wound himself around the poor old dog's neck, got hooked on the ironing board leg, made things fall over and generally acted like the evil thing he is.  He also refuses to reach to places that he is supposed to.  I only get to do three quarters of the bedroom but I absolutely will not plug him in somewhere closer.  He is supposed to reach and so he shall.  Of course when I am persistent he just pulls himself out of the plug.  Now the one thing I hate more than using Damien is emptying the bag.  Usually when I do take the bag out it is absolutely full to bursting with disgusting dust, pet hair, small pieces of paper, pins from my sewing and lots of kitty litter.  Once in a blue moon I get the head and unwind string, cotton, carpet bits and so on.  It takes me as much time to unravel the threads in the head as it does to vacuum the whole house and have a cup of tea.  Actually, today I think I should have a cup of tea with a cap full of whiskey.  Yes vacuuming does have that affect on me.  When I am older and it will perfectly acceptable for me to do strange and odd things I am planning on leaving the vacuuming for a really long time until the carpet starts to sprout grass.  The way I am going it might be sooner rather than later.  I am waiting for Damien to break down and then I will cease to vacuum forever.  Unfortunately Damien appears to be going to live for long long time.  That is if we can say an inanimate object can live.  So friends I say again, I vacuumed today, it is indeed a miracle.